Who will be big in 2011? ‘The Vaccines’, ‘Yuck’ and ‘Mona’ have started the year well and stand out from the other new bands around.

Plus, just for laughs, here’s Dan le sac Vs Scroobius Pip, ripping off x factor:

and if you’re planning to go out for a drink don’t forget the effect that alcohol has on your judgement.

If you like English music, you’ll love NME radio. Check it out HERE

We’ve put a ‘Deezer’ playlist on the blcenglish site. Obviously we think  these are great choices … but of course, you may disagree (or agree). In either case we’d love to hear your opinion & feedback.

Also here are a couple older performances that don’t appear on Deezer

First a rare Cribs appearance on an English TV show.  Some BLC students saw the Cribs at the Relentless garage in July, we hope they enjoyed it. For those who haven’t seen them yet – what are you waiting for? They’re always great live.

… and then, Kate Nash’s cool recording (2007) of the Arctic Monkeys’ song Fluorescent Adolescent.

The Pigeon detectives are also an amazing live band. After their first album “Wait for Me” many people thought that they were going to be a top band. Unfortunately their second offering “Emergency” let them down a bit – Hopefully they can rediscover their energy, creativity and originality with their next release. Listen to this track (very loud ) and tell us what you think.

Best one line jokes (some are quite old)… but we’d love to hear your favourites.

- You can tell that light travels more quickly than sound because some people look intelligent until they speak.

- I rang up British Telecom and said, “I want to report a nuisance caller”. They replied “Not you again”.

- I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.

- A man said to his doctor “I think I’m turning into Tom Jones. Is that a common syndrome?” The doctor replied “It’s not unusual”

- A blond girl walked into a bar and asked the barman for a ‘double innuendo’, so the barman gave her one.

- I said to the Gym instructor “Can you teach me to do the splits?” He said, “How flexible are you?” I said, “I can’t make Tuesdays”

- Two aerials met on a roof. They fell in love and got married. The ceremony was rubbish – but the reception was brilliant.

- I walked into Marks & Spencer and saw a sign that said ‘Menswear’. Well…? So do women.

- The legless Oomegoolies bird gets its name from the cry it makes when landing.

- I asked a waiter what the dish of the day was. He replied “tongue”. I said “I really don’t fancy something that’s come from an animal’s mouth, I think I’ll just have an egg.”

Q: What do you call someone who rings on door bell to persuade people about the virtues of brown bread? A: a Jehovis witness.

Q: What sound does a dog make if you set light to it? A: Woooooooffffff

Q: What’s round and flat and lives in the road? A: a hedgehog

If you don’t know Stewart Francis, take a look at this video – I don’t think that I’ve ever heard so many one line jokes in a single performance.

If you’ve ever played any sport, at any level and had a bad game you can always console yourself that top players have messed up more than you.

Ilija Sivonjic

Rui Miguel

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l1WmI9T_s9g&feature=fvst

Yakubu Nigeria

Fahad Khalfan

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MKWxzJWvtYs

Fabien Barthez

Fabien Barthez

These have been around for a while but they still crack me up.

Very old but still funny – Rowan Atkinson & Griff Rhys Jones mocking the police for being racist.

Here are a few examples for you to consider.

Martin Taylor on Eduardo

Ryan Shawcross on Aaron Ramsey

Chiellini on Van Persie – Maybe this one is less wreckless but…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7q8zVB5MOKQ

Diaby lucky that Paul Robinson didn’t break his leg

Diaby not so lucky when Dan Smith did break his leg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_-1BcTzuyuc

Here’s a wonderful recipe for apple and blackberry crumble. Traditionally we always have it with custard but personally I prefer it served hot with Cornish ice cream.

I can resist everything except temptation.”
- Oscar Wilde

“Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.”
- Ambrose Bierce

“She had lost the art of conversation but not, unfortunately, the power of speech.”
- George Bernard Shaw

Groucho Marx

“I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception”

“The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.”

“I wouldn’t belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.”

“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.”

“She got her good looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.

“Money couldn’t buy you friends, but you get a better class of enemy.”
- Spike Milligan

“I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said don’t be ridiculous – you’ve not met everyone.”
- Rodney Dangerfield

“If you don’t over indulge in drink, cigarettes and the pleasures of the flesh it’s not that you live longer – it just seems longer..”
- Freud

You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 today and we don’t know where the hell she is..”
- Ellen Degeners

“Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can’t help but cry. I mean I’d love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff..”
- Maria Carey

“If you steal from one author, it’s plagiarism; if you steal from many, it’s research..”
- Wilson Mizner

“I failed to make the chess team because of my height.”
- Woody Allen

“Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.”
- Woody Allen

“Behind every successful man is a surprised woman”
- Marion Pearson

Churchill

“Atlee was a modest man, who has much to be modest about.”

“Whenever I feel the need to take some excercise I lie down until the feeling goes away.”

“There’s fog on The Channel (la manche) Europe is isolated.”

Lady Astor said to Churchill: “if I were your wife I’d put poison in your coffee”

Churchill replied: “Madam, if I were your husband, I’d drink it”

Bessie Braddock said to Churchill: “Winston, you’re drunk!”

Churchill replied: “Bessie, you’re ugly, and tomorrow morning I shall be sober”

“The difference between a misfortune and a calamity is this: If Gladstone fell into the Thames, it would be a misfortune. But if someone dragged him out again, that would be a calamity.”
- Benjamin Disraeli.

“Better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt..”
Unknown

“85% of statistics are invented.”
Unknown

“There’s nothing like a good party and let’s face it this is nothing like a good party.”
Unknown

A chat show guest once refered to her wrinkles as her laughter lines. The show’s host replied “Madam nothing’s that funny..”
Unknown

“In matters controversial
my perception’s rather fine
I always see both points of view,
the one that’s wrong, and mine.

Unknown